posted by admin on Jul 18
It seems many people here are looking for the “cheapest”, “least expensive” or “lowest cost” way to do things. What happened to hosting an event based on the comfort of the guests?! Has quality gone down the drain? Doesn’t anyone look for really delicious meals, good chefs, excellent photographers and fabulous venues anymore? It seems many people have lost the art of hosting an event. Hostesses should be concerned with giving their guests the *best* of everything, not the *cheapest* of everything. Although more expensive is not always better, often the “cheapest” or “least expensive” is not enjoyable or of good quality. Why not search for the best quality you can afford? Or cut the guest list? You should stay within your means while providing a quality event, otherwise you are simply wasting your money. Is there anyone out there planning a wedding without a bottom line, who is actually concerned with the flavor and preparation of the meals and the comfort of the guests and the abundance of everything and creating an elegant atmosphere? Or are we all so engrossed in throwing a large showy party that we put things like quality aside for the sake of saving a few pennies?
Not judging or trying to start conflict, just wondering where and when this shift from quality to quantity took place.
To the person who said we are not being forced to pay for our own wedding, that’s correct, we are CHOOSING to pay for our own wedding, not being forced. We are footing our own bill.
Dimitria, I am engaged, thanks for asking! We are having our wedding in our church, many generations of my family have been married there, that is very exciting! We are having the reception at the family home about a half an hour away. It seems pretty typical to me, a morning wedding, h’or d’ouvres and cocktails, sit down five course luncheon menu, dancing the afternoon away and then a large homestyle family dinner for anyone who stays around into the evening.
July 21st, 2009 at 5:04 pm
Looks like somebody isn’t forced to pay for their own wedding. Its not easy to have a nice wedding, go on a honeymood, and start a family at the same time.
July 22nd, 2009 at 12:55 am
I think a laid back “least expensive” wedding is LOADS of fun and extremely enjoyable when all your friends are there. I would feel very uncomfortable at an uptight wedding with many slaves serving me fish on crackers.
Those brides looking to cut costs ARE staying within their means.
July 22nd, 2009 at 11:41 am
I suppose right now the answer is the economy. Of course not all families are priveledged either way. But the cheapest when you can afford something better, it seems rather cheap. No offense to anyone.
July 25th, 2009 at 4:19 pm
The people paying for these events don;t have a lot of money……if you’re someone who doesn’t have to worry about costs, then count yourself as very fortunate.
Saving pennies - for some - can be the difference of being able to pay bills or not.
My husband and I had to decide what we wanted more - a wedding or a house. So we just went to the JP.
July 26th, 2009 at 11:51 pm
I would rather spend my entire budget on a modest, simple affair if it means the best I can afford for my guests, even if it’s a cake & coffee reception…rather than go cheap and serve/offer inferior stuff in order to stretch the budget so I can have a sit down meal…I agree, it’s a waste of money and I want my guests to enjoy what I do offer rather than make a statement or put on a show…good luck.
BTW…..I had 2,000.00 to work with for my second marriage…I had a total of 20 people and spent 100 a head….it was a simple home reception/buffet and the food was great….and all the people I needed to be there were.
July 28th, 2009 at 7:54 pm
Sometimes the cheapest option IS the best quality that the couple can afford. Most couples pay for their own weddings at a time when they are still beginning in their careers, still paying off student loan or other debt, and buying homes.
Anyone who has a budget has a bottom line. Unlike you, I guess, most people don’t have unlimited financial resources to devote to a party.
I’ve been to budget weddings that were tasteful and beautiful, and I’ve been to expensive weddings that were tacky and awful.
July 31st, 2009 at 10:02 pm
I think there are both extremes. We are going with what we can afford. Our guests definitely come first though! We had a great venue picked out and then we had a tasting there and it was horrible so we found a different venue with an amazing chef because we want people to enjoy our wedding. We are in this for the quality-quantity balance you speak of and would never go with any option just because it was the least expensive. I am sure there are people who are feeding 300 people pigs-in-blankets and punch just so they can have that many guest and I am sure there are people having 10 guests at $1000 a plate. My feeling is that these people are my guests, I am hosting and I want them to enjoy themselves and feel pampered. We are fortunate enough to be able to afford a grand celebration for all of the guests we want to invite but if we couldn’t afford it, we would definitely cut the quantity before the quality.
Some people also talk about having a one-time celebration with their families. However, we have monthly birthday gatherings and holiday gatherings with our families so for us, weddings are always a more grand occasion. The family picnic in the summer is when we have hot dogs, hamburgers and less-expensive items and having a high quality event is what distinguishes a wedding from other celebrations in our family.
Good luck!
August 2nd, 2009 at 9:53 am
I think younger brides who are paying for their weddings themselves have found out that hosting a party for hundreds of people is expensive-no matter how you slice it.
I think people come here looking for tips on saving money, which is commendable. There is a limit, however, to frugality. When it impinges on the comfort or enjoyment of the guests or makes your memories of your wedding day regretful ones, it’s no good.
We did not have a budget for our wedding. We just bought the things we wanted to have the kind of day that would be great for us. We spent about $15-20,000, and felt every cent was worth it. I look back on my wedding (almost a year ago), and the only thoughts I have about that day are how great it all was-the money never crosses my mind. We are older, though, with professional jobs and could afford to spend like that.
August 5th, 2009 at 7:51 am
No offence taken. But I have a question for you…. Are you married or engaged?
If so, could you describe what you are doing/did for your wedding?
Added:
Wow, sounds very traditional. What is the whole thing costing you?
August 6th, 2009 at 11:16 am
It doesn’t mean we don’t want quality. Usually, when we ask about the most inexpensive thing, we check it out first. If it sucks, we move on. It isn’t about a flashy party, it is about celebrating the marriage of two people who love one another. The comfort of the guests has not been forgotten. Please don’t refer to it as “wasting your money,” Not all of us can afford what you deem acceptable. Everyone has different tastes.
August 7th, 2009 at 6:45 pm
To be honest you say you aren’t judging but your question did sound very judge mental, so I’d expect some angry posts if I were you. When people are asking for the cheapest way to do something (May it be food, decorations, etc.) for the most part I don’t think they mean “I want the cheapest food I don’t care if it’s terrible” I think it’s more like “What is the cheapest I can get food that will still be yummy”. The fact of the matter is we are in a recession right now. Most people don’t have much money and they want to have the cheapest party possible while still keeping the guests happy. At least that’s how I see it.
August 11th, 2009 at 3:02 am
Do I care about quality and presentation? Absolutely! But at the same time I have a finite amount of money that I can spend so I have to decide where I will spend that money.
I did put my guests first - - food & entertainment are the two things I refused to skimp on. But I’ll be the first to admit I’ve been on the hunt for cheap centerpieces, bridesmaids dresses on sale, affordable photography, and discounted stationary. Having expensive invites isn’t going to ensure my guests have a good time - having good food, beverages & DJ are what they are going to remember and judge my wedding by.
Is anyone going to be inconvenienced that my wedding gown was a cheap $219? No. Would someone be inconvenienced if I had to have the best $5,000 wedding gown so I opt to have a room full of guests that get 1 hors d’ourve for the night because I skimped on that to buy an outrageous dress? Yes. And I would be embarrased to spend money on myself over my guests like that.
August 12th, 2009 at 3:17 am
I think that perhaps you misread some peoples questions and responses on here. Not everyone is looking to do EVERY ASPECT of their wedding in the cheapest way. It’s just that most people can’t afford to have the very best of every vendor. I’ll use myself as an example.
Photography is very important to me. So, I found a great one and I bargained like hell to get her in my price range. I have a wonderful venue and food is going to cost a pretty penny because it’s good food. So, that means I have to go with CHEAP flowers and only do beer and wine. Wanting the best for your guests is definitely still a huge part of event planning and hosting. BUT, not all of us can afford to go all out on every single thing. Many of us must pick and choose! But, I will say - the places where I have sacrificed have been on MY dress, MY hair/makeup, the invitations, OUR honeymoon… and all that is so I can spend more on the parts of my wedding that affect my guests. I think many people on here are doing the same thing!
August 14th, 2009 at 7:46 am
Most people are concerned about the costs more than giving the guests the ‘best’ of everything because the economic reality is that a wedding is a HUGE expense and we all need to try to stay within a budget.
I could have given my guests the BEST meal they ever had, but I would have had to have a guest list that included only our immediate families and I wanted to share the day with more friends and family members than that. Really, I think people who are looking to economize and buy less expensive things for their wedding are doing it so that they can save money in some parts of the day so that there is more money for other parts of the day.
For example. I bought my dress on clearance at an outlet center for $99 (in 1990)…I could have gone to the bridal shop and bought a designer gown for $1000 or $1500, but that seemed silly to me to spend a ton of money on a gown that would never be worn again. Instead I took that extra money (at least $900) and spent it on inviting more of my friends to come and share the day. They didn’t care that they had a decent meal rather than a superbly fabulous meal.
Not everything has to be “THE BEST”. Cheaper works good too, and there are lots of ways to do it that most noone will notice where you went cheaper.