posted by admin on Aug 23
mccartyjohn19 asked:
I shouldnt feel this upset but I do. I had a joint Thanksgiving Day dinner with my good friend last week at his apartment. I wanted to have it at my place, but he has a much bigger kitchen, and so we did it there. He paid for the food and drink with his credit card, it cost $140.00 total. I ASSUMED we would split the costs down the middle, I should have discussed this with him first, but I didnt. At the party 20 total guests came, and 15 were my friends. There were like 5 bottles of wine left over and all of the food, and he kept everything. I paid him $70.00 the next day, my share. He immediately starting bitching, saying that bcs I had most of the people at the party and he hosted it, that he shouldnt have to pay. I was stupid and finally just paid him more, $110.00 of the $140.00. Still all day yesterday, he texted me saying he wants me to pay the other $30.00. I cant understand why he is being so cheap. First of all he kept ALL of the extra food and drink, had 5 friends at the party, and makes like 5 times more than my salary, he is pretty rich.
I shouldnt feel this upset but I do. I had a joint Thanksgiving Day dinner with my good friend last week at his apartment. I wanted to have it at my place, but he has a much bigger kitchen, and so we did it there. He paid for the food and drink with his credit card, it cost $140.00 total. I ASSUMED we would split the costs down the middle, I should have discussed this with him first, but I didnt. At the party 20 total guests came, and 15 were my friends. There were like 5 bottles of wine left over and all of the food, and he kept everything. I paid him $70.00 the next day, my share. He immediately starting bitching, saying that bcs I had most of the people at the party and he hosted it, that he shouldnt have to pay. I was stupid and finally just paid him more, $110.00 of the $140.00. Still all day yesterday, he texted me saying he wants me to pay the other $30.00. I cant understand why he is being so cheap. First of all he kept ALL of the extra food and drink, had 5 friends at the party, and makes like 5 times more than my salary, he is pretty rich.
Why is he being so cheap? What should I do? I cant understand how anyone would joint host a party and assumed he pays NOTHING. I am pretty pissed and dont know what to do. He sent me like 5 text messages yesterday, asking for the cash…..is this guy my friend? what would you do?
August 24th, 2009 at 9:41 am
sit down and have a serious discussion with him. when i host a party, i assume the costs unless it’s a potluck in which i supply everything else that guests aren’t bringing. yes, your friend is being very cheap and trying to get all the benefits. don’t give him anymore money and tell him you are going to take all the liquor and food home since you paid for it.
August 24th, 2009 at 11:29 am
He’s a jerk. If he knew that he was going to host this party, he should have known that he was going to pay for at least half, if not more, of the money that was spent. And if he had five friends over, and kept the left over wine and left over food, he should pay more. He’s probably just being a jerk and taking advantage of you.
August 25th, 2009 at 6:27 am
Wow. That is cheap!
I think a real way to tell if he is your friend is to straight up tell him “No, I won’t pay you anymore. You had friends over too, and you got to keep all the leftovers.” If he goes along with it then he’s a friend who just has a bad flaw; but if he refuses to speak to you then you know he’s not worth being your friend.
August 27th, 2009 at 8:03 am
You can simply reply with “Thank you for hosting the party at your house, that was very gracious of you. I don’t mind picking up a majority of the costs because many of the friends were mine, but I don’t feel I should pick up the full amount when you kept all the extra food and wine that I paid for. If you would like to drop that off at my house, then I will gladly pay the last 30 dollars”
Be pleasant and polite about it, as if you’re surprised he would want to keep the food and the money. Stop speculating about his income, that is unimportant and has nothing to do with being a gracious host. And do not bring it up. You don’t need to have some serious heart-to-heart with him, because if you end up getting your way he will not say “oh thank you for showing me the error of my ways”, it will just be nasty, so nix that thought.
Oh, and don’t EVER cohost a party with him again. I would reconsider my friendship if that’s the way my friend wanted to treat me.
And do this in person or on the phone, surely your thumbs must all be getting tired from these silly text messages.
August 28th, 2009 at 5:34 pm
1 it don’t matter how much he makes what if you didn’t know!
2. more of your friends then you should pay more of the bill!
3. he should have to pay something!
4. 140.00 for 20 people CHEAP!
he should by 25% and that is a total of 35 dollars!
looks like he owes you 5 bucks.
August 29th, 2009 at 4:04 am
He isn’t your Friend and should feel guilty for harassing you.
I do think you should of went ahead and payed the whole bill since most of the people were your guests and you used the friends kitchen.
If you would of payed for the whole thing you could of took home the left overs with no guilt.
Sorry but pay the $30.00 and cut all ties with this person.
August 30th, 2009 at 5:12 pm
What a cheapa$$.
I think you should take the high road and drop the $30 off at his place without seeing him and don’t talk to him again. Friends don’t act that way.
Or, you could tell him you’ll be happy to bring him the extra $30, as soon as he equally divides the leftover wine and food and gives you your fair share. Tell him you won’t be so rude as to charge him an additional fee for the company of your friends whom you were kind enough to share. What a tool.
September 1st, 2009 at 2:17 am
Pay him and wash your hands of him! YOU made the mistake of not working out the details in advance and if he thinks you owe him the money, nothing you can say or do will change that. People like that are identified pretty quickly and usually don’t have many ‘friends’. That two third of the guests were YOUR friends says it all. Chalk it up as a learning experience, and if he ever comes around again wanting to throw a ‘joint’ party, laugh and say ‘NO’.
September 4th, 2009 at 12:26 pm
Ugh. Money. First off, never assume anything. To avoid this in the future, just write out a list and discuss who is buying what beforehand.
He’s just being a jerk. I’m sorry, but 30$ is nothing. Some people don’t get this though. People love to think they’re owed money when they aren’t. I do get the logic, I’m sure he had to clean up, but that’s a side-effect from hosting a party. If he was so against that, he shouldn’t have hosted the party.
From experience, don’t assume anything with money. It’s an ongoing battle. Just toss him 30$ and tell him to STFU. Go on with your life and know that this is someone you can’t deal with when it comes to money.
Money is always a bitter topic because it seems like you never have enough. I can’t explain why he’s being so cheap - some people are just like this. It’s a GIANT red flag…so careful for the future.
September 7th, 2009 at 2:32 am
$140/20= 7
7×5= 35
Tell him to give back your five dollars and if he wants to be reimbursed the rest he can tell his friends who ate the food to pay it back at $7 a pop. Plus he owes you 2 bottles of wine.
If you don’t want to be a jerk let the food go.
I don’t know why you would think you could invite 3x as many people to his house and not pay more than half. He is probably being cheap now because he is irritated you didn’t offer to pay more than half to begin with and it was his house…did you even stay to clean up?
How much money someone makes does not stipulate how much they should pay. If I were him and 3/4 of the people at my house were your friends and then you tried to pay only half I would feel you were trying to take advantage of me and that would make me mad enough to say something like “we had it at my house and it was mostly your friends, I did my part by hosting now you pay for the food. (especially if you didn’t so the dishes or anything) I generally think between cleaning up before and cleaning up after that it is a fair division of responsibilities for one person to host and the othe to pay. If he makes more than $10 he probably thinks about 3 hours or so of cleaning up after 20 people comes out to about $30 Which would be his portion of th bill or there abouts.
September 7th, 2009 at 10:36 am
The money is only one ‘cost’ to consider…
Who did the housecleaning to get the party ready? Who did the cooking? The cleaning up?
Some people who have a lot of money prefer to throw money at a situation but not put in the real time involved in helping their co-host. I have people like this in my family who offer to pay the expenses, as long as I do the shopping, prep work, cleaning up and cooking. Did your friend do a lot of cooking and cleaning and thinks that was his share?
Either way, I would write him off. He is not willing to discuss this rationally-he is too caught up in money and can’t think beyond his precious dollar.
September 8th, 2009 at 8:12 pm
Your “friend” is a jerk! Seriously I would tell him exactly what you told us here. You assumed that you would split the cost. He got $110.00 and he kept all the food. You don’t owe him anything because he still possesses what he purchased. Tell him you paid him and you’re not going to give him another $30. If he doesn’t understand that then he is truly an a$$!
September 10th, 2009 at 4:15 am
Give him the rest of the money and text him: “For what it’s worth, it was nice being a “friend” to you now I hope, I never have to see you again!”